Managing Sexual Assault Within a Marriage

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and while many conversations center on assault by strangers or acquaintances, there’s one truth that often gets left in the shadows: sexual assault can happen within a marriage. Yes, even in a committed relationship. Yes, even if there’s love. Yes, even if you’ve said “yes” before.

If you are reading this and quietly wrestling with something that feels heavy, confusing, or painful, please hear this:

You are not imagining it. You are not overreacting. And you are not alone.

Sexual assault in marriage is real. It happens more often than people think and it deserves to be talked about with honesty, compassion, and zero shame. So if you’ve felt silenced or uncertain about what you’re experiencing (or have experienced), we are here to help you name it, understand it, and begin to reclaim your voice and your healing.

What It Is: Yes, It Still Counts as Assault

Marriage does not equal consent. A ring does not revoke your right to say no. Love does not give someone permission to violate your body. If your spouse has ever forced, coerced, pressured, manipulated, or guilted you into sex—that is not love. That is assault.

Even if you stayed. Even if you said yes to avoid an argument. Even if you were told it’s “your duty” or you’re “being dramatic.” Let’s be clear: Consent must be present every single time. It must be freely given, not assumed. And if your partner ignored your boundaries or made you feel like saying no was not an option, they crossed a line.

Why It’s So Hard to Talk About

Sexual assault in marriage is uniquely painful. It feels like betrayal wrapped in silence. People around you might not understand or worse, they might minimize it:

• “But he’s your husband…”

• “Are you sure it wasn’t just a misunderstanding?”

• “Marriage is supposed to include sex…”

That kind of messaging can make you second-guess yourself, normalize what is not normal, and trap you in guilt or shame. But let’s call it what it is: marital rape and sexual coercion are violations of your body, your trust, and your safety. Period. And you deserve to have your experiences named, validated, and taken seriously.

What Healing Looks Like (Yes, It’s Possible)

Healing is not linear. Some days you will feel strong. Other days are fragile. Some days you will be sure of what happened, and others you will question everything. That’s okay. It is part of the process.

Here is what healing can include:

• Naming it. Calling it what it was is a brave and powerful first step. You do not have to downplay it, justify it, or hide it anymore.

• Telling someone safe. Whether it’s a therapist, a trusted friend, or a support group, you don’t have to carry this alone. There is strength in speaking your truth.

• Setting boundaries. Whether you’re still in the marriage or not, you have the right to define what is safe and healthy for you. You can say no. You can walk away. You can choose yourself.

• Reclaiming your body. This might look like therapy, movement, breathwork, or simply learning to feel safe in your own skin again. Your body is not something to be controlled, it is yours to honor and protect.
  

What You Need to Know (And Never Forget)

• You are not to blame.

• You are not broken.

• You are not alone. You deserve to feel safe, respected, and loved on your terms.

  
  

There is life after this. There is healing. There is joy. And most importantly, there is hope. This month is not just about strangers in dark alleys. It is also about the women silently suffering in their homes. The wives afraid to speak up. The women who have been told they cannot say no.

If that’s you, please know: you matter. Your pain is valid. And you deserve more than just survival. You deserve to heal. Your voice matters. Your boundaries matter. Your healing matters. And if you are ready to talk, GabbyCares is here to walk with you. Book a confidential therapy session by emailing us at contact@gabbycaresofsouthfl.com or calling 786-490-5988.

You are worthy of safety. You are worthy of respect. You are worthy of healing.